Archangels: Some Questions You Could Ask God

Once God told me that I am 1/4 archangel and 3/4 angel. What should I do to become more of an archangel? I asked myself while I was taking a walk on a path in the forest, enjoying God’s creation, the trees and the path and the mud and the air I breathed. Was it pure clean air, or was I breathing in toxins? Was God the filter, the one that removed the toxins that were in the air as I breathed in each molecule of air? Does he change the pills I don’t want to take (but to my mom it is “medicine” that will stop me from hearing demonic voices) into sugar? Can he? What part of me is like an archangel? I crave long-lasting peace, and once on a walk, I felt a glimmer of long-lasting peace and hope, so when I was feeling depressed and empty today, I decided to go on a walk just for the sake of walking and listening to music at the same time.

What are archangels? What do they do, what do they feel? I ask myself. Why do they exist? What is their inspiration? I know my hope and inspiration to write comes from God…does that make me a prophet? God talks with me. While I was walking today, I could hear footsteps behind me, and I looked back to see if someone was there, and no one was there. This happened at least three times during my walk. God was literally walking behind me watching over me. On the way back, I saw a small purple butterfly and stopped to watch it. I looked at it then kept walking, and later I saw the same purple butterfly, it was flying around me, and I realized that the Holy Spirit was coming to me in the form of a purple butterfly. Seeing it gave me peace. Now, I know that the Holy Spirit isn’t a purple butterfly, but the Holy Spirit COULD HAVE been possessing the purple butterfly, and it could have carried the butterfly from the last place I saw it to where I was later on the path.

Speaking of paths, am I on the right path? How do I know if I am or not? By checking with God. God is with me also on this walk called eternal life. I don’t need to go on it alone. Sometimes I wonder, how can God watch me and talk to me, when there are so many other people – billions – that he talks to and watches and intercedes for? How is that possible, that He can watch everyone at the same time? Because God is not human, He is then something completely different from humans, and that something has a very big mind that can watch many people at the same time and do many things at the same time. Does God eat? Does God sleep? I think He probably doesn’t sleep, because he loves watching us, because He wants us to be safe. He can stop someone from stabbing or shooting me. He once told me that no one would ever stab me or shoot me, and that I would never lose a limb.

I think it is the promise of safety, the promise of safe immortality (and not just immortality. If I’m going to live forever, I want to live forever WHOLE, with peace and love and a healthy body, not depression and emptiness and immorality and lots and lots of danger from the scary world that I live in), that makes me part archangel. The hope I have in Jesus – the trust I give him, the doubts I shed – I KNOW I will never grow old and that I will go to heaven relatively soon for someone my age (I’m 24, but I died at age 23, so should I call myself 23? I want to be 20, so should I call myself 20? When I’ve been alive for millions of years, and am an archangel visiting earth, what age will I tell people I am?). I know this because God has told me AND shown me (in a way that works for me) many times.

What are archangels? Do they really have wings, and can they fly? Do they really have bodies, like I like to believe? Will I ever meet Micheal and Gabriel, the two archangels that I know of? Will my friends become archangels, so they can feel the safety and trust and love that I feel today? How can I help them to feel more like an archangel – an archangel’s peace? I don’t know what an archangel is. What does the Bible tell us archangels are? I don’t think it says much on the topic, at least not enough. I believe that God will tell me and show me when I get to heaven. I will meet archangels. I will hang out with archangels. I will vaporize DMT with archangels. I will train gymnastics with archangels, and play violin in a jam session with them. I will learn how to sing. I will get pretty good at gymnastics. I will always enjoy my walk to the gymnastics facility and to the ice skating rink. I will learn ice skating even slower than I’ll learn gymnastics, because gymnastics has the safe big fluffy mats, and figure skating doesn’t, if you fall, and I will probably fall, the ice is hard, and it won’t feel good. But I WILL get back up and try again.

Deep inside, we’re all the same. We can all become archangels. We can all go to heaven, and later we can all visit earth in a different way, in the earth, but not of it. I hope some of the safety I try to feel will rub off on you, and you can lose some of your doubts (unless you’re an athiest and you’re doubting your life philosophy, and thinking that maybe you should start seeking God and reading the Bible) and become more like an archangel. Remember to walk and talk with God, especially if you’re depressed. My walk with God inspired me to write this, and I’m glad it did, because I love writing, and blank pages and lack of creative, poetic ideas scare me away. I leave you with the peace of Jesus Christ our Lord and God. Goodbye! Until next time. 🙂

Reflections on Spiritual Warfare

Sometimes I feel like I’m nothing. Then I hear a quiet whispering, You are special and I love you. Sometimes I feel empty, then I am glad that I can be filled with God. I am reminded of a quote I wrote once: Make a home in your heart, take it with you everywhere you go, and then you’ll never be alone, and you’ll always be strong. Trust God, and invite Jesus into your heart. Remember that He is always in control, even when it seems like nothing is going right. He will turn bad things into good things. Rest in God’s peace, and don’t worry: truly believe, and keep going, holding onto Him.

What is spiritual warfare? Learn how to live like Jesus lived. Don’t worry. Believe. Sometimes I hear demonic voices, and it feels hopeless, and like there’s no room to think. One time my ego even died, and then I was listening to Sweep Me Away by Kari Jobe, and I felt swept away from God’s love, I felt like my ego was replaced my Jesus, and then He restored my mind. One thing to remember is that in spiritual warfare is that God always wins. The devil is defeated, even when it doesn’t feel like it. The only thing it can do to hurt you is talk to you and annoy you. It always talks to me, but God talks to me too, and the devil always stops , and one day it will forget that I exist, and God will never let it talk to me again. In fighting spiritual warfare, remember that it IS spiritual warfare, and NO, you’re not crazy. You’re unique, you’re a Child of God, you’re free, even when it doesn’t seem like it.

When you feel empty, when you feel lonely, when you feel like nothing, it could be demonic oppression, not depression. How do I fight oppression? I pray for clarity and freedom. I pray not only for myself but for my family and friends, for their freedom from being used by the devil, especially for my siblings and mom who don’t believe at all, I pray that they believe, and look at this: the book that my mom is reading has a lot about God in it, according to the back of her book. He lead her to it, and now she is reading it. God is really answering my prayers. It is freeing, though hard sometimes, to try to be selfless and peacemaking.

Am I different to have both femininity and masculinity in my personality, or is that balanced, or does love transcend gender? God made us male and female, but in the New Testament it says, there is neither Jew nor Gentile, Male nor Female, et cetera. Believing in Jesus is the only thing that matters.

When I feel oppressed and depressed, I make coffee, drink it, find music videos and gymnastics videos and listen to sermons on spiritual warfare, and then I feel devil. It tells me to not stay angry, but to be peacemaking, and forgive, because what they do isn’t their fault, sometimes it is the devil using them, sometimes its their own sin, but remember in the New Testament the adultrying woman with the other people who wanted to stone her, Jesus said the one of you who is without sin throw the first stone. Everyone walked away, and then Jesus said to the woman something like, go, be free, and sin no more. His words had authority and power, if she was oppressed by the devil, and the devil might of thought he won when the woman committed adultry, Jesus won when He healed her of her own tendency to sin. Go, and be free from sin, is what He is saying to us. Be free and sin no more.

Sometimes when I am oppressed and/or depressed (I can’t tell the difference sometimes), it feels like I am under water and can’t breathe. I feel bored and like nothing I could do would ever fulfill me or inspire me or free me or save me. But Jesus is saying, You are free now. I dance, I do gymnastics, I sing, I meditate, and then I feel like maybe I have hope to offer my peers and elders.

When the devil talks to me, I listen to christian music and read the Bible. I know I should, anyways. I know I should read Psalms, and I know reading psalms helps me. The devil always says that he is going to rip it up, but I can control my hands, God will NEVER let it possess my hands and rip my Bible. Once my mom was possessed by the devil and she ripped my small leather Bible. I don’t have that one anymore, but I have others. I know in my heart that it wasn’t my mom at all who ripped it up.

I don’t meditate often, but I used to. When I do, I do deep breathes, counting in 4 times, hold my breath for 4 counts, then breathe out 7 counts. Then I do a body scan, pay attention only to what my feet feel like, then breathe into my feet, move on to my ankles, do the same thing, then move onto my shins, then my knees, go all the way to the top of my head. I lay down for this. Then I sit crosslegged and focus on my breathing and deep breathing, then I let my breathing go and I just watch my breath and watch my thoughts pass by and then I let go of each one. I know I should do it more often, but when I feel depressed, I don’t feel like it. I know that is a problem. I also know that to be a part of God’s Kingdom, I don’t NEED to meditate: I just need to come to Jesus like a little child, and just believe and trust him and love him with all of my heart. I like the idea of meditation, though. Its supposed to make you more peaceful, and teaches you how to be a peacemaker, when you listen deeply. Listen for God’s loving still voice. His voice will come to you sometimes. Trust him. In spiritual warfare, God always wins. He is so much stronger than the devil. Love is strong, and hatred is week, evil is week, goodness is strong. Sometimes I feel empowered by God to eat only healthy food and to love and to help others and show love. I try to think of what I could do to help others, and sometimes, the answer is writing, writing about my experiences, my testimony, of fighting evil (I always have to fight evil), and God’s grace, God’s love in my life.  He gives me his power to always choose good thoughts.

Thats it for now. If you have any comments on spiritual warfare and what it looks like to you, be sure to let me know. We have to lift each other up, serve God by serving others. I hope this post gave you hope that you can get over all the evil that causes some “mental illnesses”, and if you have been labeled “mentally ill”, by others, please, take this power, and explaim, no I am not mentally ill: its oppresssion not depression, its the devil talking not shizophrenia, or God talking, and not schizophrenia, its normal emotions joy and sadness not bipolar. Remember: you are unique. You are special. You are not damaged or deformed or mentally ill. Together, we can mend each other, and lift each other up. Thanks for reading! 🙂


What is freedom, really?

Freedom to move on from lost love, and not be too attached or too hopeful that that someone would come back into my life like I wish he would. I should stop wishing he would be my forever friend and move on. He chose to separate himself from me. We had something beautiful, but now I have to let it go. Freedom from sin, freedom from other peoples’ crimes, freedom from death. Having already died, I know I will never die again. Maybe I’ll meet my lost love Damon in heaven, and maybe I won’t. I’ll love him for the old person that he is, much wiser than the 20 year old I fell in love with and thought he was wise, even told him so. He’ll grow younger, and we’ll grow into love. But I have to open myself to potential soul mates NOW, instead of waiting for something that will never be what I have always hoped it will be. Freedom from death, means I can hope to be forever young, to someday have an opportunity to train gymnastics (because that is ALL I want to do) thrust into my life, given to me from God, whether its here on earth or in heaven or both. Freedom from sin, means I can choose to let God’s Love lead my life, and choose to only think good thoughts and resist and reject bad thoughts in the name of Jesus, and thus grow more and more like an angel. Freedom to love, and to do good works, but more importantly, to believe in Jesus and His Eternal Father. Freedom too know that I’ll go to heaven. But what does freedom really mean? It means I have a choice. I can choose between good and evil, and I am empowered by God to always choose good. There’s a story where there is a good horse and an evil horse inside each of us, and only one can win. The little boy asks which one wins, which one has the power, and the old man says, the one you feed. So choose to only feed goodness and love.

That is what freedom means to me.