Dreams night of 2/5/2015

Last night I dreamt I was in a building where there were zombies that had a disease that made them zombies, it was what made them zombies, and a hero showed up (He was a metaphor for Jesus) and was a rebel, then he dissapeared. I chose to rebel and was hanging out with a rebel and then a girl came and we thought she was going to kill us but she just offered us MDMA, a party drug. I said no because I didn’t want to hear voices, but I ended up putting the paper on my tongue anyways, I don’t remember putting it on my tongue, I lapsed and when I came to I noticed a paper on my tongue and I asked if I did the MDMA and the other rebels said yes. Then we had guns and this guy physically grabbed me and I defended myself kind of and then we were looking for the rebel, I said we need to look for Jesus so He can save us. and then I ended up shooting at the head zombies and I blew up their computer and ended up in Jesus’s role: the one who would die to save everybody else (I’m not saying I’m Jesus by the way I failed to save everyone because I am not Jesus) and then I ran and went out the back door and saw a driveway I tried to shoot the gun at the zombies but no bullet came out of the gun and the zombie was right behind me with a gun and I forgot all of my martial arts training and I called on Jesus to help me and I kind of but not completely knew it was a dream and then I woke up. Jesus woke me up so I wouldn’t die in a dream….I don’t know what happens if you die in a dream; I hope I never have to find out. What do you guys think?

What the dream means: I am at war with myself inside. The zombies are my unconscious thoughts. Some of you know that I hear demonic voices. I am schizophrenic. The rebels were so free and represent how I want to be…MDMA represents freedom, the gun represents me taking control of my life, taking my disease (schizophrenia) and my health into my own hands and using nutritional healing to save myself and heal myself..but though the first time I fire the gun it works and has some affect, the gun is useless after that, which represents my struggle with my voices in that I don’t really have a solution for it yet.

I do positive affirmations (I say “I am healthy, I am happy, I am strong, I love my life, I am peaceful, I am smart, I am wise, I love God, I am loved.” and so on), I try to do martial arts while I am hearing voices to take control, I walk around listening to music, I sit or lay down listening to music and try to meditate. Nothing really works, but after 2 hours God usually makes it stop and I find temporary peace.

The dream represents my longing to be close friends with Damon Lythos. I used to think he killed his mom because of the telepathy between me and him, but it turns out the telepathy wasn’t real and it came from both my own mind and God talking with me. God told me with Damon’s voice that He will never give up on me, and that has inspired me and helped me to grow and has given me faith and peace. It is so wondeful to learn that at least my ex-friend is not a murderer, even though he is not christian he is good, and someday he will go to heaven and we will meet again and he will forgive me. As I forgive him for refusing to talk to me and accidentally terrorizing me. Earlier in the night I did, in fact, dream of Damon Lythos, and apologized to him in the dream and then ran away. When I woke up, after making my morning smoothie, I sent Damon a message on facebook, knowing he probably wouldn’t respond…I needed to send it anyways.

That’s all for now, let me know what you think of my dream last night. It woke me up early in the morning (6 am) and then I went back to sleep – only half asleep really – and did some astral projection while fantasizing about seeing Damon again. I felt a tugging at my body and actually walked out of my bedroom (with my body on my bed), went back to my body, settled my spirit in my body, then left my body again and walked out of my room, felt the tugging, and then walked into the bathroom and turned the faucet on. I could see the bathrom. Then I went back to my body, settled, got up to stop myself from further astral projection – because I think it is dangerous and un-christian – and walked into the bathroom and saw that the water was NOT on and therefore a spirit can not turn the water on or off.